she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
