its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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