A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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