For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
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