If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Randomize
