you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Randomize
