if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
