Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
one two three fourrrrnication!
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
