You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
