you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's blow job season.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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