I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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