The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
