Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
