hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
