Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
