cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
