well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
