Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
