Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
