Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
