i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
