Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
