you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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