So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
