I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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