so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
