Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
