VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
