2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
