I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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