I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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