You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
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