There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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