I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
