You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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