I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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