i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
