just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You ruined the universe
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
