You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i dont even know how to be here
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
