but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
