PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
