she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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