And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Actions speak louder than pants.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
