Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
