Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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