They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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