went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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