Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
