I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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