i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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