Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Its about making memories worth repressing
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
