let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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