I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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