i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
